The Fine Art of Stalling

Our boy has it nailed. Over the last several weeks, he has been perfecting his procrastination around his least favorite part of the day: bath, followed by bed. He gets this rather inopportune burst of energy the second his feet hit the floor after leaving the dinner table. I say inopportune because this fabulous second wind is hitting just as our energy level bottoms out for the day. So you have Sweets, bouncing off the walls as if we fed him Pixie Sticks and Kool Aid for dinner, and his parents, praying for the fortitude to make it to 8:00 without any of the three of us melting down.

The minute we say "ok, time for bath!" (with a degree of cheer that signifies that we know bedtime is just around the corner), Sweets starts negotiating. 

"I just want to play a feeeeeeeeeeeew more minutes!"

"Hey, I'm just looking at this!"

"I need to finish fixing the track, then I'll take a bath."

"I just want to snuggle with you on the couch." (He knows this is extraordinarily effective.)

He also recently discovered that if he takes forEVER to eat his dessert, bathtime gets delayed. He now eats his after-dinner treat in a series of microscopic bites.

It's amazing to me that after all that pre-bath negotiating, he has the energy left over to continue plying us with bedtime excuses. Heard on any given night:

"I need a drink of water." (A time-honored tactic. Well played, my son.)

"I need my nose wiped."

"My foot is hurting." (Just vague enough.)

"I want to read another story."

"I think I need some cough honey." (Leftover from his last flu bug, when we were giving him a natural honey cough syrup before bed. Turns out it's habit forming ;)

"I need some more water."

"I just want to snuggle with you." (Can't say no to that!)

"I want the song about the little boy who... fill in the blank." His favorite new thing is to request a song about a little boy who did something that we did that day. Adorable. 

And his ace in the hole: "I have to go potty." That one is starting to get on our last nerve. We don't want to say no, but it's frustrating when you haul him to the bathroom, take off his nighttime diaper aaaaaand nothing happens. Pure procrastination. A bedtime routine that used to take 20 minutes is now creeping towards an hour.

Stop the insanity ;) 

On chilly nights when we have a fire going, he insists on warming up in front of it after his bath before he can do anything else. We always let him because, hello, could that tush get any cuter?