a) While on maternity leave, I lived in sweats. I know, so trite. But come on, I had a baby puking on me 8 times a day, would you get dressed up for that?
b) When I returned to work, I was pumping, so my wardrobe consisted of easy-access basics (read, khakis and a button-down, 99% of the time).
c) Summer arrived, and my new temporary stay-at-mom mama uniform became a tank top and yoga capris.
But, with the start of the school year upon me, I found myself in need of a little wardrobe spruce up, mostly essentials like camisoles, long-sleeved shirts and accessories. One day when Sweets was hanging with Grandma, I went to the mall. Dude, it was a total sensory experience that I had completely forgotten about because it had been so long since I'd been there. Stylish, shiny displays around every corner, the smell of hot pretzels and cinnamon rolls, the sound of water fountains, baristas, and multiple conversations whizzing by. And me, toddler-free to wander as far as I pleased, pausing to look at things whenever I wanted, and for more than 15 seconds at a time. Bliss.
My first stop was Forever 21. I know, I'm not 21. But I like to think of myself as a pretty trendy gal, and I do know my fashion limits, don't worry. Ok, something happened between the last time I went to Forever 21 (pre-baby), and this most recent trip (that something was probably that I had a baby, but whatev). It definitely caters more to the "21s" than I remember, and I walked away thinking the following:
- If you can't tell the difference between a skirt and a shirt, you are probably too mature to be shopping in that store (I'm not a fan of the word old, so I'm going with mature instead ;)
- If the brand new clothes hanging on the racks are so faded, distressed, whiskered, frayed and ripped that they more closely resemble your husband's work jeans, you are probably too mature to be shopping in that store.
- If the size small shirt that would normally fit you anywhere else makes you look like you raided a girl scout's closet, you're probably too mature to be shopping in that store.
- If you overhear the following conversation in the dressing room: "Ohmygod, KiKi, do you think this shirt makes me look like a slut? I totally couldn't wear this to work, right? I mean, right?" you are probably too mature to be shopping in that store.
"Those jeans make you look like you never had a baby!"
"That shirt makes your boobs look awesome!"
"Ohmygod, those shoes are only $14?"
Yes, it would be a wonderful place, Forever 30. But sadly it doesn't exist yet. Anyone want to be my silent partner? ;-)