Forever 30

So recently, I went shopping. For me. I haven't done this in quite some time, for a multitude of reasons:

a) While on maternity leave, I lived in sweats. I know, so trite. But come on, I had a baby puking on me 8 times a day, would you get dressed up for that?
b) When I returned to work, I was pumping, so my wardrobe consisted of easy-access basics (read, khakis and a button-down, 99% of the time).
c) Summer arrived, and my new temporary stay-at-mom mama uniform became a tank top and yoga capris.

But, with the start of the school year upon me, I found myself in need of a little wardrobe spruce up, mostly essentials like camisoles, long-sleeved shirts and accessories. One day when Sweets was hanging with Grandma, I went to the mall. Dude, it was a total sensory experience that I had completely forgotten about because it had been so long since I'd been there. Stylish, shiny displays around every corner, the smell of hot pretzels and cinnamon rolls, the sound of water fountains, baristas, and multiple conversations whizzing by. And me, toddler-free to wander as far as I pleased, pausing to look at things whenever I wanted, and for more than 15 seconds at a time. Bliss.

My first stop was Forever 21. I know, I'm not 21. But I like to think of myself as a pretty trendy gal, and I do know my fashion limits, don't worry. Ok, something happened between the last time I went to Forever 21 (pre-baby), and this most recent trip (that something was probably that I had a baby, but whatev). It definitely caters more to the "21s" than I remember, and I walked away thinking the following:

• If you can't tell the difference between a skirt and a shirt, you are probably too mature to be shopping in that store (I'm not a fan of the word old, so I'm going with mature instead ;)
• If the brand new clothes hanging on the racks are so faded, distressed, whiskered, frayed and ripped that they more closely resemble your husband's work jeans, you are probably too mature to be shopping in that store.
•  If the size small shirt that would normally fit you anywhere else makes you look like you raided a girl scout's closet, you're probably too mature to be shopping in that store.
• If you overhear the following conversation in the dressing room: "Ohmygod, KiKi, do you think this shirt makes me look like a slut? I totally couldn't wear this to work, right? I mean, right?" you are probably too mature to be shopping in that store.

So then I got to thinking, us young, hip mamas deserve to be trendy and stylish just as much as the 21s do. We may be like a decade away from the intended audience of Forever 21, but we're also decades away from elastic-waist jeans and holiday vests (and God-willing these things will fall off the planet before we're old enough to wear them). As my mind wandered, I thought about the store I'd open up for the young, hip mamas. Maybe I'd call it Forever 30. And it would be overflowing with stylish and trendy, yet practical attire for the budget-conscious 30-something. Tunics and leggings. Jeans that have a zipper longer than 3/4 of an inch (seriously, what is with the ultra-super-extra-low-rise jeans???). Basic layering pieces in a million colors. Skirts and dresses that are age-appropriate without being matronly. Shoes - oh, the shoes! Funky pumps and comfy flats and versatile boots, all co-exisiting peacefully together. And do you know what you'd hear in the dressing room at Forever 30?

"Those jeans make you look like you never had a baby!"
"That shirt makes your boobs look awesome!"
"Ohmygod, those shoes are only $14?"

Yes, it would be a wonderful place, Forever 30. But sadly it doesn't exist yet. Anyone want to be my silent partner? ;-)